Ha!
Whether you choose the rough and tough, cheap stuff, or the squeezeably soft fluffy stuff.... Where and how do you keep it?
Do you hide it?
Do you stuff it away, out of the way?
...way up high and dry, or down low?
Do you have one roll on the spin, and another atop the tank?
Does it wear a disguise?
Do you keep it under wraps?
What does this say about You and Me and those other guys?
I like mine where all can see it and reach it, with out any excuse:
Last Christmas eve, there was a little gag gift poised proudly on the porcelain tank.
The "John Wayne Rough and Tough stuff", sand paper as such, sent all the way from the dusty trails Moab, ... given as "Thanks".
Hubby named Jon Wang, wears it vain, and answers to the 'Pilgrim' on any given day.
Gentle pokes from friendly folks, are better than Spanks either way.
"You're out"!"You're out"!
...we heard the alarm, my nervous Mother-in-law chanted in a shout.
We did not jump, we did not check, no fear...
there was a pile of paper, waiting right near.
"I did it"..."I did it"...she claimed with cheer.
"No whoop"...we all thought, it was so obvious and clear!
Next morning, stumbling around, cleaning up and picking up and putting stuff back...
I heard my Self screaming ..."John Wayne has been Hijacked"!
Where could he be?...
Still, there remained, a clean and untouched paper roll stack.
Who would take him? A bruise to our humor; such a brutal attack.
We made many calls, to brothers and sisters and friends and all that.
Gasps and Oh-no's abound but, no takers nor give backs.
Everyone claimed, "It must have been that woman acting like "Mrs. Claus"!
Then she walked in, bright and cheery and here for more fun.
We gave her the 'stink eye' ...we knew she was at fault and savored our cause.
We asked her in the most subtle way, and she just fell blank.
She stumbled and stared, she shrunk in her boots.
She opened her mouth and nothing came out.
Her eyes opened wide, and then narrowed down.
.. still we waited for anything however, not even a 'toot'!
But, it seems 'denial' is a forever long road, with a circular round-about.
We served her coffee hot, her eggs soft,
and bacon crispy but not burnt, on the side.
She continued to eat, avoiding our eyes.
We know who you are Lady and we know what you've done.
We will never forget but, we may let it slide.
Moral of this story: Keep it clean. Keep it cute. Keep it close.
...and at all costs, always forgive your Mother-in-Law, let her remain 'Mrs. Claus'.
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